***
Dear Tampon Manufacturers,
I have been a faithful customer for over two decades now. For the most part, I am happy with your product line and will continue my patronage for as long as my girly underneathy bits require your business. I have witnessed several product upgrades through the years. With 250+ purchases under my belt, I consider myself a bit of a tampon connoisseur. Long gone are the days of bulky packaging and pale pink wrappers stuffed in my purse. I appreciate your new sleek, aerodynamic designs. I can continue to carry my cute handbag instead of pulling out a rucksack to cart around my menstrual survival kit. Unfortunately, I have found a serious flaw in your latest packaging design. I am a mother of two young girls who have a bit of a sweet tooth. If I foolishly open my purse within their line of sight, I am bombarded with requests to share what they believe is candy. I think you've missed the mark on helping a gal keep her visit from Aunt Flo on the down-low. There is nothing discreet about my menses whilst out in public when my kid grabs a fun-sized tampon from my bag and waves it around begging if she could please, please, please have a candy bar! I am already one step away from a hormonal murderous outburst and now I have to try to explain to my 3 year old that she doesn't want "mommy's candy." You are not helping me "Have a Happy Period." Might I suggest a new design? Perhaps you can consult the Navy Seals and work together on a wrapper design that is a little more covert or camouflaged, if you will. Take a survey of 2 to 4 year olds and research what they don't like. Work with moms, not against them.
I took it upon myself to come up with a few prototypes:
You can call them Mompons. Genius, no? |
Thank you for your time and consideration with this matter. I look forward to collaborating with you on your next line of feminine care products.
Sincerely,
A Menstrual Mom
Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteDear Anon,
DeleteThank you!
Love,
Terese
OMG!! I love this new blog... it is awesome!! What an awesome way to think about something that is not nice but necessary... I will totally buy your book of stories... Loved it!!
ReplyDeleteDear Anon,
DeleteThank you so much!
(Mental Note: Must write book of stories.)
Love,
Terese
hahahahaha...and I thought mine coming out of the wrapper in my purse was an issue. You win.
ReplyDeleteDear Jules,
DeleteHave you tried keeping them in a make-up bag or a side pocket? People won't be able to see the super trendy tampon wrappers when you open your bag, but at least they'll stay intact.
Thanks for reading!
Love,
Terese
You are hysterical. I love your posts!
ReplyDeleteDear Anon,
DeleteWhy, thank you so much! And thank you for reading!!
Love,
Terese