Birthday Wishes of a 30-Something Year Old

It's my birthday! It's my birthday! It's my birthday!

I'm pretty excited about it.

That's right, little me, party down!

I love my birthday. On the first day of July, I flip the calendar page, smile, and say, "Only twelve days til my birthday!" It's not that I'm stoked that I'm a year older, although, you can't really have a birthday without aging another year. It's a Catch-22. My birthdays are celebrated pretty much the same way every year. With the exception of my epic 30th birthday party, my birthdays are quietly celebrated at home with family and a friend or two. When I was a kid, I got to plan out every detail of the day and my parents and sisters had to play along. Oh, the power! I'd wake up to a special breakfast, spend the day with my family doing activities of my choosing, open some presents, eat a special dinner, and then get a birthday cake. The birthday cake was and still is my favorite part of my birthday. Not because I love cake, but because of the birthday candles on my cake. I believe in the magic of birthday wishes. I believe so intensely in the power of the birthday wish that I plan out my wish several days, even weeks, before my birthday. I've done this every birthday for as long as I can remember.

From my Epic 30th Birthday Party.
I had a red solo cup of booze in my hand all night
which lead to my four day hangover.

Because you only get one birthday a year, you have to take this seriously. Birthday wishes need to be specific, yet concise, so you can list them off in your head before the candles melt all over the icing roses. Some people just blow the candles out right after the birthday song ends. They don't close their eyes for a moment. They don't try to get them out in one blow. They just blow out the candles and dig into the cake. I've seen people blow out their candles in the middle of the song. I just look at them in disgust.

There's no way you had enough time to make a wish. I mean, a GOOD wish. You just blew out the candles like it was no big deal. You just wasted a golden opportunity, you fool. No! That's unacceptable. Relight the candles and make a damn wish!

I know this makes me seem a bit crazy to some people. I know that not all birthday wishes come true. But, think of it this way: You can't win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket. Birthday wishes won't come true if you don't wish them.

My First Birthday Wish
See the concentration?!

As I was planning out my wishes for this, my 30-somethingth birthday, I took a moment to think back on all the birthday wishes I've made in my lifetime. My childhood birthday wishes were pretty simple and involved getting a new Barbie Doll. The wishes I made in my teenage years were more crucial. I wished for very important things that I truly believed would change my life and bring ultimate happiness. I still wish for very important things that I truly believe will change my life and bring ultimate happiness, but it's funny how my wishes have changed now that I'm an adult.

My Teen Birthday Wishes vs. My 30-Something Birthday Wishes

Teen: I wish for big boobs.
30-Something: I wish for perky boobs.

Teen: I wish for lots of cool clothes.
30-Something: I wish for less laundry.

Teen: I wish for a later curfew.
30-Something: I wish for an earlier bedtime.

Teen: I wish for clear skin.
30-Something: I wish for less chin hair. (Yeah, I said it.)

Teen: I wish for a super fast sports car.

30-Something: I wish for a fuel efficient, family sedan with extra cup holders and more trunk space.

Teen: I wish for more bills in my pocket so I can go shopping.

30-Something: I wish for less bills in my mailbox.

Teen: I wish I can go to Panama City Beach for Spring Break this year.

30-Something: I wish I can go to a secluded beach as far away from other people as possible.

Teen: I wish for an Old Navy gift certificate.

30-Something: I wish for a Home Depot gift certificate.

Teen: I wish for world peace.

30-Something: I wish for a moment of peace.

Teen: I wish I could go on a date with Johnny Depp.

30-Something: I wish... ahem... moving on.

Teen: I wish my parents would let me dye my hair pink.

30-Something: I wish for less grey and more time between root touch ups.

Teen: I wish I could get on the cast of MTV's The Real World.

30-Something: I wish my neighbors would move.

Teen: I wish that cute boys would ask me out on dates.

30-Something: I wish I could get a date night with The Hub.

Teen: I wish I could go to night clubs and bust some sweet moves on the dance floor.

30-Something: I wish for new hardwood floors for my living room.

Teen: I wish I was a famous actress.

30-Something: I wish I was a best selling author. 

Teen: I wish I was popular.

30-Something: I wish my blog was popular. (Somethings never change...)

See, that's how it's done, folks.