Thursday, December 6, 2012

The Answer is No.

When I became a parent seven years ago, I had a pretty good idea of what was expected of me. I had to fulfill certain requirements like clean up messes, cook, and kiss boo-boos. You know... mommy work. What I didn't realize was that I would also face a lot of disappointment. It's not so much my disappointment, but the disappointment of my children. I say the word "no" a lot. It turns out, I am a dream crusher at least ten times a day. It goes something like this:

Kid: Can I have candy for breakfast?
Me: No.
Kid: Awww! 

Kid: Can I run through the lawn sprinklers? 
Me: It's the middle of winter. No.
Kid: Awww!

Kid: Can I have an iPhone?
Me: I don't even have an iPhone. Besides you're 6. No.
Kid: Awww!

Kid: Can I cut my own hair?
Me: Hell, no.
Kid: Awww! (Sneaks off with scissors and does it anyway.)

I also say "no" to jumping off the couch, to getting dessert without finishing dinner first, to driving the car, (my 3 year old thinks if she keeps asking, I'll eventually give in and let her take the family sedan for a spin), to wearing bright red lipstick to school, and to staying up late to watch Family Guy. (But, mom! It's a cartoon!)




Over the last year, I have tried to get a job. I had four great opportunities and none of them worked out. Three of those times, I got a "no." I didn't fit their requirements in one way or another. The fourth time happened today. Unfortunately, they didn't fit my requirements and I said no. It's difficult to hear the word "no" when you really want something. When it comes to employment, it can really be dream crushing. While waiting (sometimes several weeks) for the results of your interview, it is easy to daydream about how things will be once you get that "yes, you're hired" phone call. I had the next two years planned out. My nights were spent dreaming sexy dreams of a time when we could quickly pay off our debt. We could fix up the house. We could go on a real vacation. We could actually save a little for rainy days... or what I like to call, "Dammit! The water heater is leaking!" days. But, then the answer is no and little dream bubbles are popped. You wake up and decide if you're going to let that "no" stop you. When my daughter wanted to cut her own hair, she didn't let my "no" stop her. Of course, she regretted that tenacious move once she found herself in the nearest Great Clips watching what was left of her long blonde hair fall to the floor. Regardless, she didn't let a "no" stop her.

And neither will I.

I'm going to say yes and hire myself. I think I am a good fit. I know I am driven and I have fantastic ideas. I think I can produce some amazing work. I have the potential to do something big. I can make one hell of a pot of coffee. I'm the perfect employee for me. 

I have big plans for 2013. First, I want to really turn "You'll Be Fine. I Promise." into something wonderful. I'm talking new design, new features, and forums. I want to sell YBFIP merchandise. I want to start a charity or a program where we... you, my very fine readers, and I can help out and be love. I want to see just how far I can go with this little blog. That means more posts, more Facebook posts and Twitter tweets... or twits... tweeps? I'm going to network like hell, people. It scares me, but I'm going to put myself out there.

Second, I have set a real goal to finish my children's book. I started it earlier this year, but like my P90X DVDs, the manuscript remains untouched, ignored, and provides a great deal of self-imposed guilt. This year, I will finish it. You read it here, folks. Now, I have to do it. Shit. Now I HAVE to do it.

I've already shared my goals with a few of my pals. I get the same response, "Yes. Do it. It's about damn time, Terese." They also ask me how they can help. I give them the same answer:

Read my blog and share it with everyone you know.

That's it. If you enjoy my stories, please share them with others. It sounds so simple, but it is a huge deal for me. I am grateful for every page view, every comment, every share. I'm even grateful for the dirty birdie who googled "30 year old tits" and clicked on my post, "Birthday Wishes of a 30-Something Year Old," not once, but twice in the same day. I'm a little creeped out, but grateful for the traffic.

So, stay tuned. I hope you are as jazzed about this as I am. Also, if you have any suggestions or ideas of things you would like to see here, let me know. I want this blog to be a kind of community. Granted, I'll be the one doing most of the talking, but I want you to join in, too. 


I have a dream and a goldfish in a Ziploc baggie...
Who's coming with me?!
Photo Credit: Sony Pictures

20 comments:

  1. Go for it, Terese. I believe in you!

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    Replies
    1. Dear Kay,
      Thank you so much for your support!
      Love,
      Terese

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  2. Such dreams...so inspiring. Do it!

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    Replies
    1. Dear Erin,
      Thank you!! I am going to just do it! I'm living the Nike slogan... except I'll write... not run. I hate running.
      Love,
      Terese

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  3. You go girl! Very inspiring and wonderfully written as always! :)

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    Replies
    1. Dear Winnie,
      Thank you so much! And thank YOU for being the subject of my very first post* 9 months ago! Huh... nine months... it's like this blog is my baby and I'm ready to send it off into the world. So I guess I did have another kid after all. Except this one does not have colic. ;)
      Love,
      Terese

      *See? There you are! http://tml-youllbefine.blogspot.com/2012/02/mom-whats-for-dinner.html

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  4. Your blog always leaves me with a smile. I'm sure your children's book will be fantastic as you are a very creative writer. I'm sharing, I'm sharing!

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    Replies
    1. Dear Anon,
      I love hearing that! Thank you so much! I'll be sure to keep you posted on the progress of the book. And thank you for sharing! You're the best!
      Love,
      Terese

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  5. Thanks for sharing your dreams with the world, baring your soul and mostly for being vulnerable. We often look at vulnerability as a weakness, but without it your dreams of writing a book will never happen. Vulnerability opens the door for new ways of thinking, new connections and new opportunities.

    I work with women everyday as a wellness and life coach. Our inner critic loves to say "No." Tell us we're not good enough and continue to provide us with plenty of excuses why we shouldn't or can't do something.

    Surround yourself with people who will say "Yes", leave the nay-sayers behind, be kind to yourself and before you know it your inner critic will be saying "yes", too!

    First time here, I'm saying "yes" and will look forward to hearing more of your story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Wellcoach For Women,
      {Sigh}... I needed to read that. Thank you so much for your kind words and support! I think the hardest thing to do is fight through the "no" we say to ourselves. Add that to the other people saying "no" and you've got quite a struggle on your hands. But, once you start saying "yes" to yourself, doors start opening.

      And I also want to say thank you for stopping by and leaving such a powerful comment. Thank you for your "yes!" I hope to hear from you again!
      Love,
      Terese

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  6. You can do whatever you set your mind and heart to. It is a powerful combination.

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    Replies
    1. Dear A.A.,
      You are absolutely right! Thank you so much for your support!!
      Love,
      Terese

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  7. You rock, lady! I'm excited!
    -Jess

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    Replies
    1. Dear Jess,
      Thank you for all the shares and support! YOU rock!!
      Love,
      Terese

      Delete
  8. Dear Cheesy Pal,
    You rock it out Terese! Don't let anybody hold you back! If there's anything in addition to sharing your blog with everyone I know, which I have, and will continue to do so, please let me know! You are an amazing woman - You can do it!!! Many hugs and luvs!
    H

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear my Cheesy Pal,
      Thank you so much for being an amazing cheerleader! I appreciate all your comments and shares! Many hugs and luvs back at ya!
      Love,
      Terese

      Delete
  9. Ready.. GO TERESE!! GO TERESE!! You can do it!!

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    Replies
    1. Dear Anon,
      I'M GOING! I'M GOING! WATCH ME GO!!
      LOL - thank you so much!!
      Love,
      Terese

      Delete
  10. T-Bone, you are a fantastic writer...one of the best I know, and I'm not just saying that because we share the same simultaneous uteral evacuation anniversary.

    I know you are writing a childrens book, but have you thought about maybe something more?

    "Waiting" written by a waiter
    "Man vs Food" started b/c of his blog
    I'm sure there are others.
    What do they have in common? They turn their experiences into $$$.

    Do what you want, follow that passion. With regards to money, you are at an advantage b/c you guys have made it work as is (albeit its been difficult at times I'm sure). My point, you can act as if money is unimportant and when you follow your passions, the money will come.



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    Replies
    1. Dear Sizzle My Nizzle,
      Thank you J-Dog! You always know the perfect thing to say. (I swear, the world is a better place because of our births.)
      Actually, I would love to turn these very stories into a book... a humor parenting guide of sorts. I pride myself on not knowing what the hell I'm doing at any given moment, yet I have the uncanny ability to laugh at myself while finding a valuable life lesson in the gross and frustrating moments.
      You are absolutely right about the money. The money will come or it won't, but at least I'll be happy.
      "Waiting" was hilarious, btw.
      Love,
      T-Bone

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