Tuesday, July 16, 2013

10 Things I Do As A Parent That I Know I Shouldn't But Do Anyway

I had it all figured out. I read all the baby books. I did the research on parenting methods. I was going to be the best mom ever and I had a perfect plan. And then I became a mom. I realized that baby books only tell you so much. I discovered through practical application that parenting methods are not one size fits all. My plan was riddled with holes. I am a mom that lives in the real world. To my surprise, the real world doesn't follow neat plans and schedules. The real world screws up good intentions. So, I improvise. My "parenting plan" has very few "I'll nevers" or "I'll always." My plan is fluid and evolves as my kids grow. I also do some things that I know I shouldn't, but I do anyway, just to make it through the day.

Photo Credit: www.someecards.com


1. I bribe my kids. We have a deal, the kids and I. If they get up each morning during the week and get ready without tantrums, constant reminders to brush their teeth or brush their hair, I give them a candy bar each Friday. I can hear the dentist cringe. While grocery shopping, I sweeten the deal with those free cookies from the bakery. I owe each kid a brand new car on their sixteenth birthday for potty training before they entered high school. I let them stay up late if they let me sleep in.

2. I talk about saving the earth and going green, yet I have been known to wash the same load of laundry four times in one week because I forgot to take it out of the washing machine before it soured. I've also re-dried the same load of laundry left in the dryer several times to get the wrinkles out. I used disposable diapers and I have failed to teach my kids not to use a whole roll of toilet paper in a single bathroom visit. I take long hot showers to hide from my kids when I have nowhere else to go.

3. Fast food for dinner? Yeah, we have it more than I care to admit. Something about the summer makes me not want to use the oven. Or plan meals. Or wash dishes. I swear I'll start preparing healthy, home cooked meals. Tomorrow. Next week. Eventually.

4. My youngest daughter learned to sing and read her ABC's by watching T.V.

5. I have yet to throw away a single toy that was not put away before bedtime. I have not followed through on lifetime groundings. The kids laugh at me when I tell them I'm selling them to the gypsies. We're still in the age where punishments include time out, early bedtimes, no TV... it's still pretty effective. I know. I'm lucky.

6. "When was the last time you took a bath? Nah, you smell okay. Just go to bed."

7.  I forget to bring a camera with me to major kid events. I only filled out a few pages in my first born's baby book. My second born's baby book is still wrapped in cellophane. I have boxes upon boxes of mementos taking up an entire closet.

8. I've had daydreams of confronting my daughter's summer camp bully and her mother. I'd put them both in their place using nothing but quick wit and sarcasm. In that daydream, there's a crowd behind me and someone slow claps when I have the last word. I've watched a lot of 80's teen movies.

9. I purposely brainwashed my kids to despise Barney, Justin Bieber, and Caillou.

10. I forget sometimes what it was like to be a kid. I hush them too often. I tell them I'm too busy to play when I'm simply not in the mood to play with them. I worry about the mess rather than marvel at the masterpiece. I threaten to run away even though I miss them the minute they leave my sight. I forget to count my blessings that my kids are healthy. I focus on the naughty behavior at home, yet take their best behavior in school for granted. I don't recognize as often as I should, just how wonderful my little monkeys really are.



I'm not proud of all of these things. But, parenting is not easy and can sometimes drive you to the brink of insanity. I've found the best thing to do is try to improve whenever you can and forgive yourself for not being the "best mom on the block." And I'll tell you... even the best mom on the block has her own list. She's just not sharing it.


10 comments:

  1. Yes to number 9. I think number 9 is the reason that Legolas is Zoe's first celebrity crush instead of the Beebs. I feel good about number 9, especially if you add that Dora the Explorer harpy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Mike,
      I almost added Dora, but then B is learning spanish by watching that show. And people say, "Oh wow! Your kid is so smart!" Then I take the credit. (Joking... maybe)

      Oh, her voice kills me, but I have to pick my battles.
      Love,
      Terese

      Delete
  2. There's value in number 1. They need to learn that pay comes with hard work, right? RIGHT? Do I get a candy bar now?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Zach,
      Of course, you get a candy bar! A big one, not fun sized. Fun sized is not very fun at all.
      Love,
      Terese

      Delete
  3. Great one, Cheesy! I don't have any human kids, but if/when I do, I'll be sure to follow this plan... Taking that moment to just step back and overlook what good you HAVE accomplished raising them so far is the important thing!
    Hugs!
    Heather

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Cheesy,
      Thank you! I think the best plan is to just go with it. It's okay to have some ideas or goals, but don't kill yourself to follow any set plans.
      My school year routine is so much better than my summer routine... I think we all need a break from "the rules" sometimes. :)
      Love,
      Cheesy

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  4. #3 has been a big one for us during the summer, too. The kids love it because usually they hear no when they ask for fast food. Cooking during the summer is no fun unless you can use the grill.
    Also #9! I am great at that one! Lol.
    These things don't make you less of a perfect mom, they make you human. ;-)
    -Jess

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Jess,
      I made whole wheat spaghetti last night and while it was "not only tasty and good for you, too!" the kitchen was unbearably hot... and messy... and I was exhausted. I'm sticking to cooking on the grill until it cools down. This is, whenever I get the urge to cook. ;)
      High five for human moms!!
      Love,
      Terese

      Delete
  5. So true! Numbers 9 and 10 hit it for me. I look back at my plan and think, I did it all wrong. But something got done right because I have great boys!! Keep up the good work!

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  6. 6. "When was the last time you took a bath? Nah, you smell okay. Just go to bed."

    you. are. hilarious. & HONEST!

    thanks for the smile.

    ReplyDelete

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